Category: communication

WHEN SHOULD PATIENCE TRUMP PASSION?

TORAH PORTION: SHEMOT Children, naturally, don’t have patience. In fact, the younger they are, the less they have. When they are preschoolers, they can sometimes behave like a roiling bundle of impulses and passions. “It’s not fair,” they cry out—or they throw a tantrum over something they want and can’t have or, even worse, hit another child. It is our job as parents to take those impulses and passions, and channel them. Some of those impulses are positive—they may have an early sense of justice—but they can’t express that sense of justice through hitting. Though children may be demanding their rights, a temper tantrum won’t help them to get what...

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FAMILY FORGIVENESS…

VAYECHI — We’ve all been offended at one time or another by the words or actions of a family member. Parents, children, spouses and siblings do end up hurting each other, willfully or unintentionally. It is never too early to begin to learn to forgive. By taking ourselves less seriously, it becomes easier to forgive another. When it comes to family, the ability to forgive is crucial. Family is permanent, and having the strength to forgive is rewarding for all. This week’s Torah portion gives a very clear message on the importance of family forgiveness. In the portion we are...

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ACTING WITHOUT THOUGHT…

VAYECHI — When we are angry, our vision narrows and we sometimes act in ways that would shock even ourselves in a better moment. It is hard to maintain perspective when someone or something angers or offends us. But, upon reflection we are able to look back on our actions and make changes for the future. We will not be forgiven for our regrettable actions if we do not make changes in our behavior. In this week’s Torah portion, Vayechi, Jacob is on his deathbed and shares parting words with all of his sons. These are not the blessings you might expect from a dying patriarch. Many of them are...

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EACH FAMILY HAS A MISSION IN THE WORLD…

VAYECHI — Each family has a mission in the world.  With reflection, you could probably write a mission statement for your family.  For  example, parents  might work toward their children growing up to be secure, contributing members of society, ensuring that they have compassion for others and do good in the world.  Everything we do while we are raising our children, large and small, contributes to this overall mission. In our parsha this week, we find Jacob on his deathbed, offering a blessing to each of his sons.  Each blessing includes a vision of that child’s future. For example,...

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LYING DOES NOT PAY…

VA-YIGASH — Mistakes happen, and as self-respecting folks, we don’t like when we ‘mess up’. It is very tempting, and often convincing, to present and/or perceive the facts a bit differently. We can deny ever having said something compromising or running a stop sign, and maybe convince ourselves that we didn’t do anything wrong. The problem is that we can be a little too short-sighted sometimes. Joseph is sold by his brothers because they decided they wanted to get rid of him. After selling Joseph, his brothers engage in an elaborate deception designed to give their father the impression that Joseph had been torn apart by wild animals. Much to their...

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