Category: family

WHEN YOUR CHILD DISOBEYS…

VAYELECH — Disobedience is an inevitable and often unpleasant issue every parent has to confront What’s a parent to do? It helps to remember that children need to test limits at times in order to feel safe. What they are usually looking for is consistency in setting limits. When firm, appropriate boundaries are set, it’s as if a safe container has been created that holds the child secure in the knowledge that his or her parents care. In our parsha this week, Vayelech, God tells Moses that God’s people will be disobedient and violate the covenant. Nevertheless, God keeps...

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ROSH HASHANAH—An Opportunity for Personal Growth

ROSH HASHANAH — Rosh Hashanah is perceived as the Jewish New Year, but it is so much more than that. It is time to reflect on the quality of relationships with friends and family and compare yourself to the way you were a year ago. Rosh Hashanah, according to the tradition, gives you a time to make amends to family and friends. Use the days leading up to Rosh Hashanah to go through a process of introspection and evaluation with your family, thinking and talking about habitual problems and conflicts that are difficult to change. Seeing other family members,...

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OUR ANCESTORS BEFORE US…

NITZAVIM — Many of us approach parenthood as if we and our children were clean slates. As if, with some coaching from our friends and relatives, and a few good books, we can be exactly the kind of parents we wish to be and our children will turn out exactly how we want them to be. But it doesn’t often, or ever, turn out that way. We are heavily influenced by the way we were brought up, as well as by many factors not totally in our control. Our health, our socioeconomic situation, and the health and character of...

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EXPRESSING GRATITUDE…

EKEV – We lead blessed lives. Many of us have so many things to be proud of: our children, our job, the home we live in, and the list goes on. But it is often easy to get caught up in what we don’t have: if only I had received the promotion, if only our house were a little bigger. It is easy to miss the blessings amidst what we feel is lacking. Often we find ourselves demanding, “If only such-and-such were better in my life” or “Why can’t this be easier?” Yes, it is good to be striving,...

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PARENTING TO SUIT…

MATOT —   Parenting is tricky. We may attempt to balance our individual desires with our instinctive urge to direct our children. The result can sometimes be a confused melding of the two: setting up our children to live their lives the way we want to live ours. We may push them to get into a school we admire or play a sport we like, even if it’s not necessarily the right thing for them. Our children are unique individuals with their own sets of needs and desires. Torah portion Matot relates the quandary presented by two and a...

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